“We are all born sexual creatures, thank God, but it’s a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.”
― Marilyn Monroe
I didn’t realize how accurate Ms. Marilyn was when she said this until I started working at an adult megastore in Staten Island, NY… but more on that later.
I’ve wanted to write an adult toy+ review blog for quite some time (I say “adult” because not all toys are about sex, although they are sexual in nature; I say “toy+” because there’s more out there than just the toys). This is why there has been a KT Pinto’s Naughty Thoughts group on Facebook for over a year (with almost 300 members!). I am already a writer: I have both novels and short stories published in almost every genre; you can see more about that on KTPinto.com. I am also a reviewer for Nth Degree Magazine.
I actually think it’s at Nth Degree where I got a little spoiled. You see, I’m honest… painfully honest. When I was a teacher, I told my students to never just say something sucked, but to give a thought-out reason why. Thinking something sucked is fine, as long as you can back up your opinion. I am the same way with my opinions, but with the extreme pressure to be a mutual appreciation society in cyberspace, honest critiquing isn’t much appreciated. But Michael, editor of Nth Degree, likes my honesty, letting me review books, movies, and events for the ‘zine, even to the point of letting me review his own convention Ravencon.
Unfortunately, toy companies don’t feel the same way, I’ve learned.
When I first started working at the megastore, a representative from a high-end toy company offered a co-worker and me each a toy to try out and review. I’ll give that review at another time, but the short version is that I did not like it.
So, when the company asked for my critique, I was thorough and honest… and I never heard from them again.
My point? That incident actually temporarily stopped me from pursuing this adventure of toy reviews. I mean, what was the point of reviewing toys if companies were going to get insulted by it?
But then I started reading blogs, such as Hey Epiphora, The Redhead Bedhead, Ruffled Sheets, and Dangerous Lilly as well as a handful of others. Oh my gawd, I love these reviewers! Honest, direct, and funny, they don’t hold back when it comes to reviews and talking about their bodies.
Now before you think I’m saying the painfully annoying “If they can do it, so can I” thing, understand that my concern wasn’t over could I do it, but if anyone would appreciate my work if I did. And by ‘appreciate’, I mean would people want an honest opinion that they can learn from and use my opinions to make intelligent purchases in the future. I also wondered if adult companies would welcome a critical voice; I’m not saying I’d be critical about everything, but when I don’t like something…
So anyway, why do I think I would be a different, fresh voice in the adult toy blogger world? Well, here’s a little about me:
1) I am 41 years old. I figured I’d get that out of the way right from the start. Life has jaded me just a bit, but has also made me very aware of what my body wants and likes.
2) I am a Dominatrix. I have been trained in various forms of domination and submission, but my specialty is Sensual Domination. In 2013, I did a podcast on No Boundaries talking all about it. If you’d like to hear it, you can find it on my site here.
3) I am a Hedonist. Pleasure for pleasure’s sake and all that…
4) I am a Kinkster, but not a fetishist (a fetish is when an item or activity has to be done to reach climax; a kink is something to enhance sexual fun). I have no fetishes, but possibly a few hundred kinks.
5) I am an Educator. I have a degree from St. John’s University (I’m sure the nuns would be so proud!) in secondary education, and have been head of the education departments of both non-profit and commercial organizations. I have trained people to become doms and subs, I lecture at conventions about alternate lifestyles, adult toys & accessories and BDSM, and I regularly educate customers at the megastore and in private workshops about toys, lubes, movies, apparatuses, etc.
6) I have a boyfriend. I know this in itself isn’t unique (although it is for me), but he is much younger than I am (and will be called ‘the boy’ from here forward) and is only now – due my influence – dipping his toe into the world of toys+. So his perspective on things would be an interesting newbie twist with some couples toys+, male toys+ and gadgets we use together.
7) I have a small handful of slaves and subs in the kink world. It’s with them that I would use kink toys+ (such as CBT apparatuses and electroplay gear) that the boy wouldn’t want to use.
8) I enjoy paranormal erotica. I write it, I read it, and I hope to review it and other manuals/sex books.
9) I like old school classic porn and parodies. I’m not really big into the modern day compilations of dicks and pussy, but give me an odd 70s/80s storyline or a title that starts “This Ain’t…” and I’m glued to my chair… so to speak.
10) I’m a curvy girl. The doctor’s have called me ‘morbidly obese’, but I honestly think those are terms made to scare people. There’s nothing morbid about my size unless I’m wearing my goth clothes. I’m 5’7.5″, and clothing size-wise, I’m a size 14 in pants, but I’m also an XL in women’s t-shirts, L in men’s t-shirts, 2X – 3X in retro clothing (I am a ’50s girl!), a size 16 in modern dresses. That doesn’t really help, huh? It does make clothes shopping a bitch (including for lingerie). The best way to clarify my size (besides pictures, which you can find in abundance on my Facebook) is by my measurements: 42 (37DD)-36-46. Yes, there’s a ten inch difference between my waist and my hips…
11) I’m a toy snob. Working at an adult megastore will do that to you. This means low-end toys have to work really hard at impressing me and high-end toys, when they disappoint, will do so royally because I hold them to a much higher standard.
12) I work and live in what I call the “Guido Trifecta”. If you travel east or west from my house and watch the citizenry, you’ll quickly realize that the shows Jersey Shore and Mob Wives aren’t really exaggerating the truth in what they show. These are inevitably the people to whom Ms. Marilyn was referring. There are times at the megastore where I feel that if I have to deal with one more male stereotype who thinks spit is a perfectly good lube for anal (it’s not! Don’t do it!) or a female stereotype who won’t look at toys+ because her man would never allow her to use them (allow? allow?!?), my head would explode.
But then there are other times when I get the housewife who is timidly picking out lingerie to surprise her husband, or the construction worker who is going to try receiving anal for the first time, or the grandmother who came in with her lady friends to pick out their first vibrators… these are the people I enjoy helping, and these are the types of people I hope will read this blog, and will start or continue to explore and embrace their sexuality… and perhaps others’ as well! 😉
I am going to try to blog on a regular basis (notice I didn’t give an exact time frame) and we’ll see where things go from there…